Adventure Number 36 - The complaint - 
Commissioner Vincenzoni feel 'knock on the door of his office, and hurried' to hide the latest issue of Guerin Sportivo under a mountain of practice before clearing his thundering voice and a scocciatissimo " NEXT! " the nuisance on duty. Nuisance to turn that thing no doubt, however, materialized 'in Trading Key, which I put'
in a minimum space between the door and the door and fired up the thin face that stood out, blacks and imbrillantinati, a mustache of Sicilian which he was proud and that minutes passed without the appointment does not give them a well-kept allisciata. "Commisso ' I am sorry to bother you, but we have a complaint for theft ... "
" Exactly, I had said I was busy and did not want to be disturbed except for very serious business, I know, murder, rape, revolution .... we do, well I start to take the complaints of theft now ... let us her face, and then bring me the practice to be signed in triplicate, as per the procedure ... "
Good for Key 'to slip into the room without even having to open more' the door, took off his hat d 'that the order was quite large and always covered his eyes and keeping his head down, replies' with a hesitant whisper: "But Commis', is a special case, particolarissmo I would say, I do not know even how to define the theft, just do not know how to begin ... "Commissioner Vincenzoni, not known for the kindness of ways, grab 'binder more' bulky front of him and being noticed, however, not to discover that most Guerino 'lurked beneath, the drop' on the desk with ostentatious violence, resulting in a crash that startled the poor left whisker Key ... "And what the heck, Key, she has 10 years of distinguished service at this station, there I think she does not know ... pick up a complaint of theft and what will 'never, in a bicycle theft, burglary of a shop, the jewelry shopping proletarian Bianchini ... not 'possible, but all I have to follow ... "and continued to mumble too easy on 'which gave reason to who invented the jokes about policemen, stood up' from his chair and headed for the Office of Complaints.
found there 'Ignazio, 32, who had taken the liberty pending' not only to sip the Stick caffettino the poor, but had decided to do magnificence on the plastic chair and stretching a couple of absurd camperos on the shelf of the desk front.
"What happens here, but where we believe we are at the Sports Bar at the Club or the beer?" Take off those feet from the table and a little 'check! " the apostrophe 'Commissioner immediately, bypassing the desk and sitting in place of the Key, in the meantime hastened to position hard at his side, only one hand bias trim the mustache as a concession to the strict military discipline. "So let's see, what we have here ... the constable told me that she 's been the victim of a robbery a bit' special ... 'step' right to the point of the Commission that he intended to attend to the matter in four and quattr'otto and return to his Sancho
sactorum to read the exploits of his idol, football, Ibrahimovic.
Ignatius took off his boots to the desktop with indolent, then took off from the head sdrucitissimo zuccotto that concealed an even more 'torn hair color and hygiene indefinable, leaned forward and began' his testimony. "Commis Then, 'I I 'heart to arrive this morning in Milan by train ... I coll'amici my, er roast suckling pig and scrap iron, and the first thing seen in years semo er Duomo, because 'veni' in Milan and anna nun 'to see the Duomo and er' a crime and there seemed fair nun nun dedicates' Armenian 10 minutes to the richness of the spirit ... "
The air from the thug and look-shaking with the strange screeching so that the statements of Ignatius Vincenzoni begin 'to get nervous over the safety limit, and had taken on a Stick' air even more 'sad' cause after adjusting the left whisker had received an array of asymmetry of the right and not being mirrored,
tried to twist her lips in a barely concealed attempt to scrutinize the situation subnasale without sounding like a "Arrus" lovelock.
"Then 'I am and where theft' case, on the train or in Piazza Duomo, excuse me, let's cut to the chase ..." interjected 'Vincenzoni.
"None Commis ', nor' one will 'train the limb sur were all beautiful and all grouped de la Roma, nun if she could dare' to nisuno steals 'noffink, them' Semo all honest people ... ok, 'except that each TNT er' er de vice is 'seamstress' quarche safe ... but this 'story ... and well ar n'antra Cathedral semo entering and leaving quietly ninth Commis ...', er theft and 'took place at the Stadio
"At this stage? All right, then they pinned us down there' at the typewriter and begin to write this report ... blessed name and last name as the user name is already 'know them ... then ... On February 27, 2007 the undersigned was near San Siro Stadium in Milan, when ... and when it 'happened? "scratched
Ignatius' obscenely armpit and continuous' his story." So if I semo accommodated, er roast suckling pig and scrap iron, in places ar our third ring, if you bought a drink semo sandwich, far we have fora de boules pulled from carzini wine, and if made semo see the game ... that game, commissioned '! The Maggica seemed that played in 14 vs. 5, were just getting everywhere, the nun knew Onestoni not even begin to ndo '... quanno and Crespo took pole quer n'antro bit 'the ball comes from that other party, aho, if semo almost cacati below, rather, er Porchetta I think that has Armenian scureggiato the fact that subscribers Staven close to us know if 'move has run up the stairs and old crap' well sbracato sur seat beside libber And if that had 'er Captain j'ha quanno riarzato only sees the fact that unit Giuliocesar miss the ball and saw it Chivu is still in search 'of leaders' from our Francescone ndo fuck was that j'e' suddenly popped out and give nothing Banfi, 0-1 and all the stadium who onestoni but not even the most gnawing nun screwdriver 'the eyes pe' killer weeps quant'ho enjoyed as a mandrill, which is painful at some point 'came too hard and I looked at a co smandrappona polentone' tits swollen and if complaining that je ballaveno and jo 'heads that' thou art j'annava je interval would give him na muttered to mozzarella ... "
" ENOUGH! "- blurt 'Commissioner interrupting the verbiage of his party, who had let go of the enthusiasm of the story -" and try to remember that here we are in a police station and Non Radio Hilary Hilary! And she pointed, I saw who wrote all gates this series of nonsense, that a statement is not 'a comic mica of the ultras, you know! And strength, she tries to come to a conclusion ... How 'did this theft? "I try
Ignatius' leave with greater care, but it was infoiati and soon resumed his speech the pounding rhythm of the first" E mo 'ch'arivo Commis', je was in ricconta 'the background in detail I always see SIESAI indaggini and often if one looks after them risorveno quanno special and I wanted nun ignores 'noffink maybe the body and' de one bitch that interval if 'removed co' one who seemed to me a stick all dressed in a suit that has run nun 'never seen anna' on the stage quer way, I wonder quanno hath been 'married who has risen' put .. ok, 'nun if angry, go ahead ... time interval has run old crap 'and er addormito Porchetta and' caca vintages' and I know 'was a Bausch guardamme them that questionaveno, ciacicaveno chewing gum and the fact that Inter discuteveno sur' is playing the nun had lost In short, the air was friccichella way I like it, then you're a zero quanno home of longobbardi there is pleasure in all Vedella aggitati ... and then off, aricomincia the game and the show and 'became embarrassingly davero, but mica pe' Roma, pe 'nun sees that the ball then onestoni quer rincojonito the coach that I hate them since the start Lazzi Ravana 'ner turbid and change them to ruzzica players, but that old, nun make a shot on goal, indeed je own the scrum, the gypsy is he' s na beauty, which seems Danielino comanna General Caster er, er seize the captain and from the 'and if they give the soul and well Taddeo tries to make' er a phenomenon that seems so much de Vorta all'urtimo quer de Burdisso criminal in my opinion is that people should put the acquired influence and throw 'keys j'entra walk same old crap and then knee sur and a bit angry if arthro 'je pulls down' beneath a bottija but I stopped that and 'mejo Fasse nun knows that he and' well in libberta 'viggilata and put a pillow pumpkin sur pe' nun ago 'sees ar Cellerino that column in the hospital and 'ran away but the referee arbitrates English and the game continues as before except with panting and Maggica that if the great waves until it hurts a nun je alone and then I almost shot holes finch er 'cause becomes mejo de Rocco in Budapest, is to print them' blacks as the corners of the mussels, but at some point tells me that pork er perceives smell of burning, je me say that maybe he scureggiato and if I smoked a pipe but he pulls a schicchera ear and hear me say that stinks de davero burned and within minutes the French Baghette der can be 'the arbiter of the excuse that the nun was waiting mannallo via arthrography and Roma lose fag er mejo der er casino and play the Inter captain ar lottery ticket and we slap the nerve backside while playing in Crespo makes' er derfino area in rigor and er de pija negro kid to jail, people were not even cans of coca cola and mortacci them all home and farewell ... "
Vincenzoni even caught his breath he were to do all that is pulled, and still stunned by the kind of delirious commentary, there was almost little little and asked his interlocutor: "I understand ... but what did they steal? and who? "
" As steals me from that? Mortacci them I worked as a black pe 'du' hours per week pe 'compramme them bijetti der train de la game, acquired influence me I make a trip to a cattle car with broken riscardamento scureggiava er nun who were dying Porchetta arive frozen to death in Milan, I er than black ass band of thieves and those who do? eh, they do? rubbeno me the game of life all of them the championship dreams of glory that the referees would fight ciavar nun pe 'anna' in Serie B and instead ecchiteli the 'co' 9-point lead over the mejo de Rome dell'urtimi years far we have Trigoria suffered in the rain to encourage 'the kids and we believed and we had far we have phoned all the radio and wrote them to all newspapers and in fact we thought we had to believe it, that we would take ass for arthritis Vorta ... er de steals me from a dream fight 'pe' a title which should veni 'in Rome in Carriage Ahriman and instead died in the Navigli' de de mosquito bites! "
Vincenzoni shot 'a sigh, then turned and began to Stick' to dictate, "So, where were we ... ah yes ... San Siro stadium where I've been robbed of my dream league. Author of the theft, which occurred under my eyes and in the presence of witnesses, gentlemen Porchetta and scrap iron, and 'was the referee of the match, Mr. Rosetti, in apparent collusion with the coach, Mr Roberto Mancini, and the President Dr Moratti. IN WITNESS ... date ... here, taps, dies well in triplicate ... good, give me pure ... Mr. Ignatius here, sign here ... and here ... and here ... okay, we investigate, we'll certainly know ... goodbye. "
Ignatius cordially shook the hand of the Commissioner, I greet 'with a terrified gesture the Key, whose mustache was now hopelessly unbalanced, and walked away' PLEASED efficiency of the police in Milan.
Commissioner Vincenzoni taken with it 'the complaint in triplicate, the slip' in a blue folder, and you trace a black pennarellone 'above, in red letters, the word "I enjoy!", and then returned to his room, laughing, not too quietly in his sleeve.
